Working in the yard today- see you Monday.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Alcoholic Monkeys make the best leaders
Those amazing monkeys... they are just like us!! It seems that in monkey society you have sober monkeys, you have moderation monkeys and you have drunk monkeys that like to destroy things and start fights. This monkey behavior studied over the years mimics human society almost exactly. The difference being that these monkeys live on a tropical island and are drinking on the beach for free while we work all week and buy our alcohol from kroger. Hmmmmm.
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Saturday, May 30, 2009
young conservatives rap
Famous movies and their Black counterparts
People are always finding ways to make things more accessible to their particular culture. Take the taco, for example: Hispanic cultures have been eating delicious tacos for a long time, but then some Americans got a hold of it and said, "y'know what the problem with this taco is? It's not a salad!", and lo and behold, the Taco Salad was born. This seems to happen a lot with popular movies, too. With that in mind, we decided to use venn diagrams to compare and contrast some famous movies and their black counterparts.
Meet Arthur Kade... douche
Meet Arthur Kade. He's an "up and coming actor" from Philadelphia. He's also a self-professed expert on women, who only "sleeps with 9's and 10's" (please, please check out his "Kade Scale" of female attractiveness) and who claimed, after meeting Angelina Jolie, "I feel like I have dated much hotter women than her ... I couldn't really say that she would stick out for me if I saw her at a hot club like 1Oak or Rosebar." Wow. Did we mention he also blogs? His site is like getting a special peek inside the mind of a very Aspberger's-y, crazy creep, who is somehow deluded that he's talented, attractive and interesting. In short, it's pure Internet magic.
Here's Arthur in all his Dep Gelled glory, talking about his biggest fan. Could it be you?
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Friday, May 29, 2009
4 inch Alien killed by children
A four inch Alien species appear to be a female turned up in Pakistan accidently. While repairing an old house, they found an Alien walking around.The children took it as an harmful animal & stoned it then the Alien fell down helpless & motionless. Then they put her in bottle after that they throw her on very hot bricks that's where she got the skin burns. This news spread like a wild fire, too many people came in flocks to see her out of concern of a disturbance locals buried her in hole. People have demanded an investigation & autopsy now.
Hmmmmmmm
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Thursday, May 28, 2009
Craigslist Post: Guitarist of megalomaniacal speed seeks audience who won't combust
I'd like to start this off by saying one thing: IF YOU DON'T LIKE GUITAR, IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY OF CARDIAC INFIRMITY, OR IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY OF A WEAK DISPOSITION, HIT THE BACK BUTTON RIGHT AWAY.
But who doesn't like guitar, right? I don't think you understand. Jimi Hendrix played guitar. Groucho Marx played guitar. I think Winston Churchill might have played guitar. What I play is something different.
Picture a Verdi opera: 3 hours of music, some of beautiful and ennobling, at times piquant and subtle, other times dramatic and inspiring. Take those three hours of music, those thousands of musical notes, and compress them into 4 measures of incomprehensible speed, delivered with earth-shaking finesse and a raucous disregard for any physiological limit to human auditory perception. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast your face will melt.
The last girlfriend I had was dearer to me than anything that doesn't have steel strings and pickups. It's with a heavy heart that I must confess that she met a tragic demise. I sat her down to perform for her, as she had never heard me play. Within mere seconds of the furious and almost satanically fast deluge of musical notes, she burst into flames and was reduced to a smoldering pile of ash. I have grieved for 7 months, and now it is time to seek a hardier companion.
I seek a woman of no flimsy construction who can tolerate the cyclone of death that my guitar will unleash upon her. Think about the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Holy Spirit (or whatever the hell that poorly rendered gaseous conglomerate was supposed to be) ravaged the Nazis by melting their flesh from their mortal bones. This is what my guitar playing does, except there is only vapor left, no bones. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast the Earth will be rent asunder and armies of hellions will spew forth to wreak havoc upon the human population.
I don't care if you are fat, thin, average, need attention, busty, or even whether you genetically qualify as a human being. All that I care about, the single thing that will hold my attention, is a woman who can listen to my terror-inspiring, WMD-unleashing, virgin-defiling, hell-bent-on-misanthropic-destruction tornado of picking and whammy bar stunts without dying immediately.
If you think you can witness the senseless and brutalizing destruction that is my guitar playing without being maimed, incinerated, mutilated, lacerated, or dismembered in any way, please send me an email and I will arrange a meeting.
Postscript: I think I'll have to have you sign documentation of release before we meet, however, as I am a wanted man in 48 states for assaulting an officer via sweep picking, and my guitar playing has been banned in Norway for causing several churches to burn to the ground. And yeah, I've never been to Norway.
PostingID: 740837104But who doesn't like guitar, right? I don't think you understand. Jimi Hendrix played guitar. Groucho Marx played guitar. I think Winston Churchill might have played guitar. What I play is something different.
Picture a Verdi opera: 3 hours of music, some of beautiful and ennobling, at times piquant and subtle, other times dramatic and inspiring. Take those three hours of music, those thousands of musical notes, and compress them into 4 measures of incomprehensible speed, delivered with earth-shaking finesse and a raucous disregard for any physiological limit to human auditory perception. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast your face will melt.
The last girlfriend I had was dearer to me than anything that doesn't have steel strings and pickups. It's with a heavy heart that I must confess that she met a tragic demise. I sat her down to perform for her, as she had never heard me play. Within mere seconds of the furious and almost satanically fast deluge of musical notes, she burst into flames and was reduced to a smoldering pile of ash. I have grieved for 7 months, and now it is time to seek a hardier companion.
I seek a woman of no flimsy construction who can tolerate the cyclone of death that my guitar will unleash upon her. Think about the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Holy Spirit (or whatever the hell that poorly rendered gaseous conglomerate was supposed to be) ravaged the Nazis by melting their flesh from their mortal bones. This is what my guitar playing does, except there is only vapor left, no bones. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast the Earth will be rent asunder and armies of hellions will spew forth to wreak havoc upon the human population.
I don't care if you are fat, thin, average, need attention, busty, or even whether you genetically qualify as a human being. All that I care about, the single thing that will hold my attention, is a woman who can listen to my terror-inspiring, WMD-unleashing, virgin-defiling, hell-bent-on-misanthropic-destruction tornado of picking and whammy bar stunts without dying immediately.
If you think you can witness the senseless and brutalizing destruction that is my guitar playing without being maimed, incinerated, mutilated, lacerated, or dismembered in any way, please send me an email and I will arrange a meeting.
Postscript: I think I'll have to have you sign documentation of release before we meet, however, as I am a wanted man in 48 states for assaulting an officer via sweep picking, and my guitar playing has been banned in Norway for causing several churches to burn to the ground. And yeah, I've never been to Norway.
- Location: Madison
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
New Legos
The LEGO Group and Brickstructures Inc. have just unveiled a new product line called LEGO Architecture. The LEGO Group and Adam Reed Tucker of Brickstructures officially introduced the LEGO Architecture line in 2008. The line currently consists of six buildings �C now including two of Frank Lloyd Wright's most famous and recognizable buildings, the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum and Fallingwater.
With models developed in collaboration with architects, LEGO Architecture works to inspire future architects, engineers and designers as well as architecture fans around the world with the LEGO brick as a medium. Builders of all ages can now collect and construct their favorite worldwide architectural sites through these artistic replicas.
"As an Architectural Artist my desire is to capture the essence of a particular landmark into its pure sculptural form. I first and foremost do not view my models as literal replicas, but rather my own artistic interpretations that harness the landmarks overall appeal. Beyond its identity as a toy, The LEGO Brick is not initially thought of as a material typically used in creating art or used as an artist's medium. It is the pure sculptural form that I have translated from reality using The LEGO Brick.
*These are so cool!
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One hit Wonders from the 80's
The other evening I was flipping channels and came across VH1's Classic's. They were doing the top 100 One Hit Wonders of the 80's. I enjoyed it so much that I gathered a few of my favorites for you to tune into below. To get the complete list go here.
FYI
It has been determined that not only is the Ida Fossil the possible missing link but also the earliest documented case of the Thriller Dance being preformed in pre-history. Look at the evidence for yourself. Undeniable proof.
Vintage Camera Print
If I loved vintage cameras more I would buy this limited edition print featuring 19 of Christine Berrie’s vintage camera colored pencil drawings. But I don't.It’s available from her Etsy shop: Link (don’t miss her equally wonderful micro cars poster!)
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Thursday, May 21, 2009
Color Picker
This is one of those concept products that you hope gets produced and then taken to market. The Color Picker by Jinsun Park is a pen that can scan colors from anything around and then instantly gives you the color you wanted.
How does it work?
"After placing the pen against an object, the user just presses the scan button. The color is being detected by the color sensor and the RGB cartridge of the pen mixes the required inks to create the target color. This superb device will help people observe the changing colors of nature. With color picker, all range of artists will be able to create a more sensorial and visual insight of their surrounding nature’s colors."
*Orangehouse aside: are you kidding me! I LOVE this. It's like the future is here and waiting for us inside this pen. It is crazy magical- I hope it gets mass produced.
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