Rock Flinging Chimp

According to a new article from the LA Times research shows that Chimpanzees can plan ahead and execute carefully plotted maneuvers. Apparently Santino, the alpha male chimp at Swedens' Furuvik Zoo, planned rock-throwing attacks against zoo visitors, which shocked zoo staff and fascinated scientists.

Boy, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Chimpanzees with social commentary! What will they think of next. I'm sure chimps hate all sorts of things not just Swedish people. In fact I would love to go back in time and bring Santino the Chimp out with us to go see "The Watchmen" this past Sunday. I would set him up with a $14.50 popcorn and coke combo and a whole stack of rocks and then I would scientifically observe him.

My guess is first thing Santino would have thrown a rock at the concession stand for charging $14.50 (we even had to apply our own butter subsitute at the subsitute butter bar). Then while Santino was comfortably seated in the front row he would have turned too to my two teen aged children who picked said row (while I was standing in line for the snacks) and throw some rocks at them.

Finally relaxed and ready to enjoy the show, Santino would deftly swing around almost doing a 180 degree manuver and throw a large stone at the head of the woman who brought her crying new born baby in to "watch" The Watchmen. (she really should have know better) Then because Santino lacks judgment (and because it is sort of funny) he would throw a tiny, little pebble at the baby for crying in the first place.

About 10 minutes into The Watchmen Santino (who at this point should be totally used to full frontal nudity) would let a barrage of rocks fly at the Dr. Manhattan's blue, glowing, shlong that kept popping up on the screen. His excuse being that "the use of the blue penis being excessive and it did nothing in furthering the narritive".Then half way through the film Santino would get that special far away look and before I knew what was going on, he would deservingly throw a rock at me.

Well done Santino and thank you for you honesty. I now release you into LA for you to wreck havoc and design clothing for project runway........ oh wait, wrong Santino.

(Thanks to Rachael for the awesome article find- keep this kind of stuff coming)