Rock Flinging Chimp

According to a new article from the LA Times research shows that Chimpanzees can plan ahead and execute carefully plotted maneuvers. Apparently Santino, the alpha male chimp at Swedens' Furuvik Zoo, planned rock-throwing attacks against zoo visitors, which shocked zoo staff and fascinated scientists.

Boy, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Chimpanzees with social commentary! What will they think of next. I'm sure chimps hate all sorts of things not just Swedish people. In fact I would love to go back in time and bring Santino the Chimp out with us to go see "The Watchmen" this past Sunday. I would set him up with a $14.50 popcorn and coke combo and a whole stack of rocks and then I would scientifically observe him.

My guess is first thing Santino would have thrown a rock at the concession stand for charging $14.50 (we even had to apply our own butter subsitute at the subsitute butter bar). Then while Santino was comfortably seated in the front row he would have turned too to my two teen aged children who picked said row (while I was standing in line for the snacks) and throw some rocks at them.

Finally relaxed and ready to enjoy the show, Santino would deftly swing around almost doing a 180 degree manuver and throw a large stone at the head of the woman who brought her crying new born baby in to "watch" The Watchmen. (she really should have know better) Then because Santino lacks judgment (and because it is sort of funny) he would throw a tiny, little pebble at the baby for crying in the first place.

About 10 minutes into The Watchmen Santino (who at this point should be totally used to full frontal nudity) would let a barrage of rocks fly at the Dr. Manhattan's blue, glowing, shlong that kept popping up on the screen. His excuse being that "the use of the blue penis being excessive and it did nothing in furthering the narritive".Then half way through the film Santino would get that special far away look and before I knew what was going on, he would deservingly throw a rock at me.

Well done Santino and thank you for you honesty. I now release you into LA for you to wreck havoc and design clothing for project runway........ oh wait, wrong Santino.

(Thanks to Rachael for the awesome article find- keep this kind of stuff coming)

Camping Fun

Ever been camping with the fam and thought to yourself. "I sure wish we had brought the chickens" Well, it's time to stop going with out! Leave it to the French to come up with a way to camp with your feathered friends but wait there is more. Camp with your chickens and when its time for dinner let them march death camp style right into the attached BBQ. Those French think of everything! Here read a loosely translated description of the product.

How the domestic hen house s' can; intéger in a context of sustainable development? Imagined by the young designer Maxime Evrard within the framework of its diploma of end d' studies with l' School of Design of Nantes, this product is presented in the form of an alternative to l' industrial breeding: a manner of producing which limits the environmental impacts while proposing novel modes of life to the users in a ludic spirit and always nearer to the family. Discovered in images!

Learn more here.Word!

Hell Yes!

Sometimes there are things you have been waiting for your entire lifetime. You don't per-se know you have been waiting or that your life has been devoid up until that moment. You just KNOW. That is how I felt about the USB Desk Vacuume the first time my eyes gazed upon its chocolately brown and cream littleness. I mean read for yourself and I defy you not to fall in love.

Fun to use! (no shit!!!) Keeps your desk clean! Tiny retro-designed vacuum plugs into your computer's USB port, to keep your desk and workstation dust- and crumb-free. Brown/ beige plastic. Movable handle lets it go from upright use to almost flat, just like a real one! 45" cord. 8" high. (works on cats)

Ok, so I may have added a couple of selling points to the description but - hell yes! Sign me up. I can only imagine the little sounds it must make, or what it must be like changing its little bag. USB Desk Vacuume where have you been my whole life.

New Shakespeare

Via Cnn

A portrait painted 400 years ago and kept anonymously in an Irish home for much of the time since is now believed to be the only painting of William Shakespeare created during his lifetime. The image reveals a wealthy Shakespeare of high social status, contradicting the popular view of a struggling playwright of humble status, according to Stanley Wells, a professor who chairs London's Shakespeare Birthplace Trust.

Wells, a distinguished Shakespeare scholar, arranged for three years of research and scientific testing which confirmed it was painted around 1610, when Shakespeare would have been 46 years old.

"A rather young looking 46, it has to be said," Wells said. Shakespeare died in 1616.

The Cobbe portrait -- named after the Irish family that owns the painting -- shows Shakespeare with rosy cheeks, a full head of hair, and a reddish brown beard.

The most common portrait of Shakespeare is a gray image showing a bald Bard with a small mustache and beard, and bags under his eyes.

The identity of the man in the portrait was lost over the centuries -- until Alec Cobbe saw a portrait from Washington's Folger Shakespeare Library. That painting, which fell into disfavor as a Shakespeare portrait about 70 years ago, turned out to be one of four copies of Cobbe's portrait.

The portrait "shows a man wearing expensive costuming, including a very beautifully painted ruff of Italian lacework which would have been very expensive," Wells said.

"It establishes, for me, that Shakespeare in his later years was a rather wealthy, a rather well affluent member of aristocratic circles in the society of his time," Wells said.

"There's been too much of a tendency to believe that Shakespeare, being the son of a glover, coming for a small town in the middle of England, that he necessarily retained a rather humble status throughout his life."

Wells reads even more into what he sees in Shakespeare's newly-found face.

"I think it's plausible as a portrait as a good listener, of somebody who would have been capable of writing the plays, clearly the face of a man of high intelligence," he said.

"It's the face of a man, I think, who betrays a good deal of wisdom in his features. But, of course, as somebody (King Duncan) says in Shakespeare's story Macbeth, 'there's no art to find the mind's construction in the face.'"

It should be noted that Shakespeare's King Duncan paid a price for judging Macbeth to have the face of an honorable man. Macbeth later murdered the king.

The public can read Shakespeare's face from the original painting at Shakespeare Birthplace Trust in Stratford-upon-Avon where it goes on display for several months starting April 23.

The portrait then returns to the Cobbe family, which inherited it when an ancestor married England's Earl of Southampton -- a friend of Shakespeare who likely commissioned its painting.

Cats don't care

You've always known this, but now it's in print- so it must be true. To get more like this go here. To get the whole, ugly uncensored truth go here.

Skull Tattoos

This guy changed a bunch of unsightly moles into little skulls. What a fun idea! Go here to see an unfortunate picture of his prolific stomach moles.

Heart Warming and Aquatic

They would never meet in the wild. So perhaps it's natural that when their paths did cross, both were curious. This young tiger and dolphin were mutually fascinated as they stared at each other through the glass of the tank at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in California.

The pair examined each other from all angles possible - then Mavrick the dolphin blew an approving bout of bubbles at Akaasha, the Bengal tiger.

Staff were taking Akaasha, who is a six-month-old female tiger cub, on her daily walk around the theme park when she noticed Mavrick, who is a 14-month-old Atlantic bottlenose dolphin yesterday.

Mavrick cocked his head as Akaasha strained to get closer to the glass, perhaps bewildered as to why she could not catch the scent of this strange new creature grinning at her from another world.

It may be the start of a beautiful friendship.

(I love this kind of crap but I ESPECIALLY love this kind of crap)

Things you'll maybe find at grandma's house

Make your own fun during the recession!! Take a deep hard look at your grandma's house- you never know, granny might have had an edge to her and had time to start her collection of amazing items years ago. What at first glance seems like an ordinary chotchkie might garner a second look. Just think Peaches Geldolf's house circa 2070.


Who else has time to knit toilet paper?



Don't forget to inherit this 1978 General Electric Wide screen tv which could double as a puppet theater or a great apartment in Manhattan.


What's this I see? What at first might look like a boring dust catcher is really the source of those nightmares you've been having since you were five. This kitty/bird visits nest figurine wasn't stratigicly placed on the bottom shelf for nothing you know.



Think about it- grandma's bathroom didn't just smell funny, it WAS funny. Tune into this Harlem Toile Wallpaper by Sheila Bridges it could make an otherwise boring extended stay on the toilet a visual delight.


Remember grandma's visit to Chernobyl in 1986? Of course you don't....... and either does she.


And finally, look what you found under grannies bed- these porcelain beer cans. That a girl.

Plural Clothing

By now most of us have seen the snuggie, you know the the selling points:

"Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are trapped inside. The Snuggie™ keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort!"

And really isn't that what we are all looking for? The total warmth and comfort of a blanket with the ease of a medical gown. Can we ever forget the mortifying stadium event where you can be seen en masse in public with your family wearing your snuggie? Well leave it to Pantalaine to offer us a sensible plural clothing solution and leaving the ridiculous notion of wearing a blanket in public where it belongs... in the crapper.

Oh and in case you haven't seen this you should.

The King of Creep has done it again

These are a few of the objects available at the Michael Jackson Auction coming to a computer near you in like 2 days. A singular collection of odd and mind numbingly gross items that you collect over a lifetime when you freeze emotionally as a 5 year old. Bid on Michael's exploding robot face, a magical woodland creature and a buck slow dancing at the prom. Also available, a baby portrait of of "Prince Michael Jackson" surrounded by social workers, some crystal encrusted gloves throwing gang signs or trying to mimic the YMCA dance. And of course an oil painting of Michael in some shorty pants and tights. One of these objects alone is enough to inspire lifelong therapy, just imagine the creepy vortex created in housing all these things in one place.

The Evil vs. Magical Debate

It all starts of innocently enough. Looking through the news today I come upon an article about a "pink dolphin" and I investigate further. I think  "What a perfect transition from yesterdays rainbow post." But in reading up on the dolphin I discover that the impossibly cute pink dolphin wasn't just caught up in a simple chemical spill. But rather was a sinister albino. 

Almost all of us know instinctually to be afraid of albinos - mostly because of how evilly they are portrayed in films. I know this because with my crack detective work I came across a few articles that back up my claim- so if you are still not convinced I suggest you go here. Skip the boring prelude (obviously written by an albino) and get right to the good stuff. You see, irrefutable truth!!!

Then because I don't always dig through just the first page of internet image searches to bring you pointless blurbs I sometimes go to page 2. I came across an article listed in a real newspaper. The Seattle Times wrote an article last year on  Albinos being "hunted" for their body parts. Here are some direct quotes from the article.

"Many people in Tanzania — and across Africa, for that matter — believe albinos have magical powers.Tanzanian officials say witch doctors are now marketing albino skin, bones and hair as ingredients in potions that are promised to make people rich."

Now I don't know what to think. Magical power? I am aware that there are many documented cases of REAL magic. But I find it hard to shift my paradigm from evil to magic. All I really wanted to do was show a cute pink dolphin and now I am caught up in the age old "evil or magic" debate.

Screw it, I know albinos are evil (and maybe just a little bit magical) just like I know that this is awesome. 

Rainbow versus Snow

With old man winter making a recent push on the east coast and because I had to fly in it last night, today I am making an homage to all things bright and cheery. From the Yumbrellas (yes stupid name I agree). Some gummy bear looking bong things, to a really cool and the rarest of all naturally occurring atmospheric phenomena called a "fire rainbow" I offer you a brighter view than the one you are most likely getting outdoors.